It’s Complicated


February 2, 2013 by fifi + hop

Between the various blogs and websites – ours, Wee Westchester, Brooklyn or Beyond, and A Child Grows – I’ve been loving all the debate and impassioned feelings regarding the Westchester vs. Brooklyn subject matter. That’s after all what our blog is all about – the pros and cons to both lifestyles, and trying to figure out what we want and where we want to live (though obviously in the fury of debate, the posts have leaned more one way or the other – but hey, one’s got to defend! And have some “friendly” battling it out).

As someone who just moved to Westchester after 5 years in Brooklyn, I see both sides, and still think there are “pros and cons” to both lifestyles. For a lot of people moving out of the city it is a complicated decision to make, and that’s one of the reasons why this blog was started, along with sharing our experiences along the way. I can’t tell you how many people have said “what a great idea, because I have this conversation all the time – we don’t know what to do. Do we stay or do we go?” I always say it was Colleen’s idea, and she asked me to join – and I happily signed on because it’s something I had been thinking about (and continue to) for a long time now. I’ve been following the blog and list serve Brooklyn or Beyond for a few years now.  Not only for the good resources and info. it provides, but to see how people have made out in their new moves – because, frankly, moving to the burbs from the city is kind of scary! And I grew up in the suburbs, 20 minutes from where I live now! But that was a long time ago. The city and the suburbs are two completely different lifestyles, at least in the NYC area, and there’s no question for many there’s a period of serious adjustment.

I’ve talked to some people here in Larchmont who have said that they were in total shell shock when they first moved, or some who said that they hated it at first and then a year later came to love it, and now would never move anywhere else. And Larchmont is about as close to the city as you’re going to get, with somewhat of an urban feel, so I’ve found these stories to be very telling as to how hard the adjustment can be. Of course there are many factors in why a town may or may not work out for someone, but you get the jist. I personally feel in total limbo right now because we don’t really know what’s going to happen to us and whether this is a right match or not. I know that we’re not moving back to the city, so at least I have that figured out, but it’s hard to say what will happen down the road. I wish I had that “I’m in love with where I live” feeling, but I don’t, at least not yet. I like this town just fine, and there’s things about it I do love and think in a lot of ways it’s the perfect transitional place, but overall there is still a vague, lingering question mark.  I will save my reservations for another post, and hopefully as time goes on this will change.

I guess what I am trying to say is that here we are, out of the city, which is a big hurdle in and of itself, and yet I am still dealing with the “what do we want” issue. I knew it was going to come to this, that’s after all why we’re renting (and I am also self -admittedly a complete and utter over-analyzer).  I have a hunch we will probably in the end stay for a while, because the kids are happy and it’s a good commute, but we have a lot to figure out.  Deciding where you want to put your roots down and raise your family is not an easy thing. For some people it’s a no-brainer and they know exactly where they want to be. But for those like me it is a much more complicated issue. And for that I’m loving all the debate going around because it just goes to show there are many different people with different desires and wants and needs, and what might work for one family doesn’t for another. There is no “right” way to live.

– Corey


4 thoughts on “It’s Complicated

  1. Well put, Corey! I’m glad you wrote about this. I too really am enjoying life here as I have made some wonderful friends who are very interesting BUT I am not in love with where I live. I don’t think I personally will ever be in love with a place like I love NYC.

  2. Eugenia says:

    interesting. What would you say has been your hardest personal adjustment in Larchmont? I ask because we hope to be out of the City by next summer and Larchmont is one of the places we are considering.

    • Corey, Brooklyn to the Burbs says:

      Hi Eugenia,

      I’m so sorry for the late reply – looks like this came in when we were on vacation in a remote part of CO with no internet. I think I would say the most difficult adjustment has been the whole car vs. walking thing. Or at least at first it was – now I love having a car and it’s so much easier with the kids. But from a social point of view it really was just a completely different lifestyle I felt I had to adjust to at first – not seeing people on the streets everyday and making spontaneous plans. Yes, Larchmont is a walkable town, and so much more than many other suburban towns, but really, with two different schools for my girls and all the after school activities, I’m in my car and not walking. It felt very isolating at first, and it was hard. It definately took me longer to make connections with people here than in the city. But now that I’ve been here a year and gotten the “system” down, I have met so many more people and feel connected. I also moved at the end of the summer last year so did not have the summertime activties here which helps tremendously in connecting with your new town. Realize this is long – hope that helped – thanks for following us! Corey

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